To Find Love in a Hopeless Place
by fssquiggles
Summary: Because somewhere between their rather anticlimactic first meeting and their earth-shattering fights, dubbed Unresolved Sexual Tension by Sirius, Lily Evans and James Potter had found love. 11 short drabbles following the untold love of Lily and James. Oneshot.


**title:** _"To Find Love in a Hopeless Place" A.K.A. 11 Drabbles of James and Lily  
_**warning:** _There is a disgusting amount of fluff and angst, a lot of angst! Also, I am trying out a different writing style, because oneshots are where you take leaps of faith off huge, metaphorical buildings…and stuff.  
_**disclaimer**: _I do not own Harry Potter or his parents! And I stole the prompts from that 30 day writing challenge thing going around on tumblr shhhhhh  
__Highly influenced by "Arrival of the Birds" by Cinematic Orchestra. Enjoy!_

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1. Beginning

The first time they met had been rather anticlimactic. He remembered her as the sniffling girl with fire for hair that had run off with young Snivellus. She remembered him as the stupid boy who had insulted her _best friend_; the one thing she _knew_ would be a constant in her new, brilliant, _magical_ life.

* * *

2. Accusation

Deep down, she knew it wasn't his fault at all, but she _couldn't _blame herself anymore. She couldn't face the fact that she wasn't enough for him to stay. (It hurt so, _so_ much.) So, instead, she accuses the untidy-haired boy of ruining her life and hurls _so many_ hateful, painful words at him and _whycouldn'tshejuststop?_ (Because she wants him to hate her as much as she hates herself.)

* * *

3. Restless

She could feel his touch, etched in to her very being, and she couldn't help but wonder and wonder and _wonder_ if she should make this a forever thing. But then they'd have to make this (whatever they were doing) official and _public _and the thought makes her almost as restless as his kisses do. Almost.

* * *

4. Snowflake

He watches her carefully on that day, red fire against stark white, and wonders how anyone could look so beautiful, so sad, and _so very_ broken, all at the same time. She watches the snowflakes drift down lazily, covering the freshly dug grave with a thin layer of pure perfection (heavenly protection, Alice whispers to no one in particular). She stares bitterly up at the mass of gray clouds and wonders why its 'heavenly protection' hadn't come sooner, when they needed it most.

* * *

5. Haze

They were stuck in a haze of emotions and broom closets and butterfly kisses and passion, which Alice called _The Honeymoon Phase_ and Sirius later dubbed _The Stop-Being-So-Bloody-Disgusting-And-Just-Shag-Already Phase_. She rolls her eyes and he can't help but grin (After so many months of indecision, he was just glad that they were in any kind of phase at all).

* * *

6. Flame

The effect of his kisses, when they threw her whole body into a fiery state and swallowed her so wholly and relentlessly, never seemed to disappear, and sometimes, _sometimes_ she wishes it did. Sometimes she feels guilty for the love and happiness she had managed to find when so many others had nothing of the sort. Sometimes she wonders when exactly the flames of hatred, murder, and death will catch up to her. Sometimes she is scared.

* * *

7. Formal

After that night, he realizes that the very formal (very awkward) I-want-to-marry-your-daughter-and-I-love-her-so-much-so-_please_-give-us-your-blessing-and-_bloodyhell_-why-does-your-father-have-a-_gun_-Lily conversation is much, _much_ worse than anything he has ever experienced _ever _(including Lord Voldemort himself).

* * *

8. Companion

She never fully realizes what marriage, what binding herself so fully and intimately to someone else, had meant until she is staring at the big oak doors dressed in a simple white dress and holding a bouquet of flowers. Her father stands at her side, and strokes her arm reassuringly. As the doors swing open her gaze immediately falls on _him_. His eyes widen and his lips turn upwards into a teasing smirk and all her doubts just _vanish_. She knows right then and there that there is no one else she'd rather spend the rest of her life with.

* * *

9. Move

She calls Godric's Hollow small and quaint, he called it tiny and suffocating. (They both mean the same thing; she just doesn't want to be rude.) But they both agree to stay there for as long as they have to, if only to keep their family – their _growing_ family! – safe. (They stopped protesting about going into hiding as soon as news of the Longbottoms reached them. They had moved out the very next day.)

* * *

10. Silver

Talk of a traitor amongst their allies, _their friends_, had cut them like a dagger. She stares up at the full moon, luminous silver pouring over their sleeping son, and questions if the rumors could be true. He frowns at her from the doorway (perfectly aware of her thoughts, as always). She knows he would rather die than distrust his friends and she wishes she were the same. It seemed much easier.

* * *

11. Prepared

She realizes with a jolt that the wards established to keep danger _out_ had essentially trapped them _in_. He shouts for her to run as he turns away, completely wandless and aware of his fate. With tears in her eyes and such a heavy, _heavy_ heart, she _runs_. She doesn't know what to do. She is wandless, _help_less, and everything hurts so much. She tells Harry – poor, brave Harry – to be strong like his father, to know that he is loved and always will be, _always_, and then she closes her eyes and thinks of him, of her family. She uses every last bit of her strength and courage, her _Gryffindor courage_, to turn and face the oncoming footsteps. For the first time, in a _long_ time, she prays, prays _so hard_, for their Harry to live, for him to live to see another day. For the first time in her life, she is prepared for death, welcomes it. She knows they (she and _James_) will live on as long as their Harry does.

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**a/n: I tried to do present tense. I hope it worked!**

**Reviews are sugar and spice and everything nice!**

**xo**


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